Did you have a rough morning with your toddler? Wishing your babysitter was available so you could have a little break? You aren’t alone, and if you’re like me – your identity may be getting lost in the daily rhythms of these groundhog days. My intention for this episode is to give you 3 steps to reset your heart and remind yourself of your identity during these hard days, and especially toddler tantrums.
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Episode 24: 3 Steps to Reset Your Heart During Toddler Tantrums
Welcome to the Soul Family Show & Podcast! I’m your host Sinikka & and this week we’re talking about exactly how the Soul Family is going to be walking through this Easter season of COVID-19 continuing to intentionally choose one another! FYI – Easter is celebrated through the end of May!
If you’re a mama, then you’re feeling an extra amount of weight on your shoulders… you are officially a 24/7 child-care provider, chef, and possibly teacher. First, I want you to know you aren’t alone. Navigating this new social distancing lifestyle is still new, and if you’re like me – your identity may be getting lost in the daily rhythms of groundhog days. My intention for this episode is to give you 3 steps to remind yourself of your identity during this specific, new, and different season of motherhood – and especially for when you’re in the thick of a toddler temper tantrum and it’s mighty difficult to be your best self.
So, I’ve got a story for you 🙂
That was yesterday morning – in a home that isn’t toddler proof and needing to redirect so many activities that I could feel myself becoming so frustrated, and so confused at this behavior, while little Johnny became so frustrated that he didn’t even want to talk with me anymore. There were family members sleeping upstairs, family members working downstairs, trinkets he wanted to touch, and a piano he wanted to play. We had to be quiet and stay indoors since the weather wasn’t too good. How hard it is for a toddler to be restrained like that when it’s out of his norm.
He had enough. He was done being told no – in kind, peaceful terms “we’ll play with that later, Uncle David is sleeping – we can’t play piano right now.”
He sat in a chair, looking out the window, all by himself. I sat in another chair, looking at him, eating a bowl of oatmeal.
In that moment, we took a break from each other. We took a break from pushing and trying. We took a break to breathe. It was then that I realized he was so frustrated because his curiosity, desire for adventure, and love for playing musical instruments were all at the same time – stifled.
I had never so many times in one morning stifled his desires to explore, and it wasn’t easy for either of us. I felt like a bad mom as my frustration grew until we took a break and I realized I wasn’t a bad mom, this was just a tough house to be in when no family members could distract this adventurous toddler from the oodles of spaces he wanted to explore.
I wasn’t a bad mom, I was doing my best with what we had, which was not a lot of options.
It was in this break moment where I breathed out my feelings of frustration and confusion, and breathed in God’s grace to mother him from my true identity – a child of God and daughter of the King full of unconditional love, tenderness, compassion, gentleness, and empathy for this little one entrusted to my care.
Here’s the 3 steps I want you to use to reset your heart during your own toddler’s tantrums:
1) Take a break – even just a moment to stop moving your feet, or closing your eyes to breathe out and in, or just a moment to pull out the stroller and talk a walk around the block to your favorite song.
2) Breathe out your feelings – frustration, weariness, confusion, annoyance, or any negative feeling the beautiful and hard burden of the cross you carry as a mother brings
3) Breathe in God’s grace – abundant help that allows you to say “Same you, new mood” like Rachel Hollis says. Flip the switch. Count down from 5. Jolt yourself out of the funk with a dance party or mentally listing 3 things from that day you’re grateful for. Pray a rosary for some repetition. Put on KLOVE.
Sis, breathe in God’s grace and remember that your identity is not in the label of mother or wife. It is in the label of Child of God. Remember your first love, and how he says, “I am yours. You are mine.”
Then from there, choose your parenting posture. Every moment of every day you get to choose. May you continue to come back and choose to emulate the posture of Christ – of gratitude, deep respect, unconditional love, and servant leadership.
What are you feeling right now? What do you need to breathe out?
Right now, breathe out and then breathe in. What attribute of the posture of Christ do you need to choose to emulate right now?
Go, Mama, be Christ’s hands and feet to your children, and continue to bring your heart back to the King who sees and knows you as you walk the road of motherhood – for your identity as a child of God is rooted in him.
Take your mental checklist – what are 3 things you’re grateful for in the last 24 hours? Did your child make you laugh? Did you have the perfect cup of coffee? Refresh your heart by first reshaping your mindset and focusing on gratitude for all the good gifts God gives.
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Friend, you’ve got this, and even more – God’s got this. Get out there and hug the one person you chose to be with forever. Praying you have a peace-filled day!