Feel Your Marriage Is “Fine”? If so, this LIVE Show & Podcast is right for you because we dive into:
Welcome to the Soul Family LIVE Show & Podcast! I’m your host Sinikka & and if you haven’t heard our favorite phrase, “Forever, I Choose You” is now on a cozy sweatshirt to make for a tangible, significant tool you can use on a daily basis at home and everywhere you go! Get one for you or someone you love on the Soul Creation’s Shop!
This sweatshirt reminds us that we’re here for the forever, we’re here for the long haul – so with that said – today, we’re talking about:
Episode 5 – What To Do When You Feel Your Marriage Is “Fine”
If you’re wondering what to do when you feel your marriage is “fine”, the first thing is to realize that “fine” really means, I don’t want to talk about it, it’s not okay, I don’t have time. We’ll figure it out later, or never.
This phrase usually begins to come up when you begin to feel a lack of connection and unity, and oftentimes is found after a long amount of time is spent without pursuing each other and having quality time together.
The lack of connection usually occurs because I’m almost 100% sure you are selflessly serving the world, and your spouse is feeling either hurt by being forgotten or left in the dust or distant, just waiting for you at home or busying themselves with other things so they don’t feel the missing as badly.
If there’s one thing you take away from in this episode, it’s that I want you to make your marriage your most important priority (only beneath your relationship with God!). Honestly, if you are married, your main ministry is your marriage. But where you spend your time (physically and mentally) is where fruit will grow, so if you continue to do all the good things, the few excellent things will be harmed – and in this case it’s your marital relationship.
Back in 2016, I was listening to KLOVE when an artist came on to explain why they were cancelling half their tour locations that year. He said something to the effect of how hard it had been on his family, and his band members families, and how important it was to slow down and be at home. He then dropped a bomb when he said the phrase I will forever hang my hat on:
I will not put my marriage on the altar of ministry (hang your hat on this one)
Ya’ll. That is STRONG. That is something that makes you reflect on the decisions you been making. All the yeses you’ve been saying, and the nos that are being impacted by those yeses. Everytime to say a deep yes to work, to church, to an event, to leading a bible study, to attending a conference, you are also saying a deep no to the one you chose to be with forever.
So as you make decisions, now knowing that sacrificing your marriage is a real thing that happens when you desire to climb the corporate ladder and never come home, or minister to thousands of people at church and never have a Sunday for your family, I know you’re thinking there’s some big decisions you need to make. Here’s one thing I want you to keep in mind as you do that:
Everyone has an opinion, but not everyone has a vote.
Sis, your vote counts. The decisions you are making are important, but remember that there are only two votes in what you end up doing with your career or lifestyle – that’s the votes of you and your husbands. Every person in your family and friend circle will have an opinion on what you should do – but remember, those opinions are not final votes.
Reflection Questions: Take some time to honestly think through these questions, whether by yourself or with your spouse.
Where are you spending most of your time?
When you’re home, what is taking up most of your brain space?
Do you have a daily rhythm of reconnecting with your spouse in a sacred, dedicated way?
What can you do to show your beloved that today, you choose them?
What decisions about your career/lifestyle are you making on your own, that may be harming your marital life?
I know you have so much to think about from this episode, but the biggest point I want you to remember is that your marriage is your #1 ministry, nothing else is above it. No other ministries are above it. So this week, as you lean into what it looks like to make marriage your #1 priority, use these tips to help really start ministering to your spouse.
How To Make Your Marriage Your #1 Ministry:
(1) speak your spouse’s love language everyday, (take the 5 love languages test to see what you and your spouses languages are – and love them in their language, not in yours!)
(2) pray for your marriage together,
(3) carve out space for time to be together (whether that’s a date night ordering pizza in after the kids go to bed or a walk around the park, carve out the space in your calendar – it’s that important)
Friend, you’ve got this. Get out there and hug the person you chose to be with forever, and let them know that today and everyday “I Choose You”, and get yourself or the one you love a sweatshirt to remind you both of that too – find them in the Soul Creation’s Shop!
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